Adding value

It has been about a week since the MBA fever has subsided. Made peace with the decision. Well, almost. It does keep popping once in a while, to check my commitment to my sector and get me in touch with the -areyouwaastingawayyourlife? syndrome or doyouthinkyoucantakechances syndrome. But hell ya, I made some decisions in life and I don't have any responsibilities. I should atleast be grateful enough to not follow the bandwagon and discover my true calling. Proudly Made In Africa knocked the door just then. I really liked their concept. Value addition to the products produced in Africa. Quite similar to the value addition I dreamt off for the handlooms, handicrafts, coffee,cashew, pineapple and all the products which KRuSHE promoted inside India. That is a value chain. Here, it is a Global Value Chain. And that brings me back to the crush of the previous year, GVCs. Value Addition and Supply Chain are sure keeping me excited. Again, pause. If that is what excites me, isn't an MBA more suitable? Well, from my research, I came to understand that switching sectors - as in entering supply chains/procurement wouldn't be easy with an MBA. So, lets say, if i am so interested, why cant I study them online, hands-on on work. I read that PMIA collaborates with the course Business & Society. Again, a slap on the face. Maybe I should have.... Hmm. But again, won't my internship be of better advantage. Bingo! Now, I am pinning my hopes on this unpaid internship. Adding so much value to it that it is going to hurt if i mess it up. Ufff!!
Just in time, I get an offer to MPA with a conditional scholarship of 4000 for 18700. So the idea is to get some experience (possibly an internship) before accepting the offer. God! Why do I have to make so many decisions in life!

Wishing me luck for my informal meeting tomorrow.

Me

Taking decisions, the Libran Way

The last two weeks have been crazy. One hell of a ride of self-discovery. On a  Thursday evening, two weeks ago, I got a call from Susie. Asking me if I was interested in taking up a FT MBA at Smurfit. Then I got a call from Colm, confirming my admission and asking me to accept or reject the offer in a day or two. At that moment, my joy saw no bounds. I was on top of the world. The best news to hear, probably after I got my IRMA admission. An end to all the confusion and uncertainty. I was so so relieved. I just couldn't count my blessings and feel how lucky I was. In spite of a not so impressive GMAT score and initial refusal to a full-time admission, here I was, ready to do an MBA in one of the top 100 colleges in the world, top 25 in Europe and the best in Ireland. Totally totally high!
Praveen was also equally relieved and casually shared his happiness with his colleagues. Bump! First road bump. MBAs in Ireland aren't the same as that of India and the US. You build on your past experience to don't really make a significant career change. With this, the over 10-day long research started. Stalking people on LinkedIn, asking for opinions on Facebook, writing emails in Gmail, having long chats over Lycamobile. Social media and technology have been fully utilised to get an understanding of the sector and my opportunities post the MBA. This got me thinking, why do I want to do an MBA? Bummer. I don't have an answer. Rewind back 10 years, why did I want to do an MBA?  Still, no answer. Why did I want to go to IRMA? I didn't want to do finance or hr or IT or Public Sector. My rendezvous with IRMA was an accidental love affair. The love for the sector grew with every single day. It was a risk taken on intuition and the love for not following the bandwagon.  And the scope and vastness the degree opened to me are never-ending. I enjoyed new avenues the course opened to me, the rawness and the reality. The uncertainties and the no-problem-is-alike scenario.
My stint at my last job ended on a bitter note and probably made it easy for me to leave my country. And the same feeling lingered on, made me write my GMAT and apply for an MBA. Not getting a seat and parallelly getting the official permission to work started a new phase. I made peace with not getting a seat and moved on. Though I was looking at the mainstream MBA openings, only the one related to my sector got me excited. I didn't realise my attachment to my sector till I got my MBA seat and had to give up on my sector. I enjoyed my work because I liked it. I may get a decent job after my MBA but that doesn't ensure that I would enjoy it. Switching careers is alright unless you know that you no longer want what you have and really really want what you are getting into. Mine is the other way round. Money was a definite factor, but when I was writing my rejection mail with emphasis on the inability to pay with the lack of scholarship, a part of me was frightened that if I get a scholarship, I might have to take up the course. I didn't want to get into this with so much doubt and uncertainty. This isn't my true calling. I never had the business acumen or the fire to survive in the corporate world. I don't have it now either. I can't fight my place up. or keep fighting to keep my place.
This saying, the 2 weeks long grind did make me drop MBA off my list. The struggle is yet to decide if I want to take up MPA at this moment or continue looking for jobs. And to keep me from hitting my low. To utilise the time I have and learn new things. I have so many courses in my edx which i want to learn. I have n number of jobs on my indeed and linkedin waiting to be customised and applied. I have this major sine curve hormonal highs and lows. In the midst of all the chaos, I am searching for a routine, and scared of losing the chaos as well.

To more self-discoveries and finding the path, in all the chaos.

Yours
Me